Writers As Readers

Will I ever write a book? That’s easy, yes that is my ultimate goal. Ever since 1^st grade when

we were given blank hardback books where we could write, draw, or say anything, I was hooked.  Even as a kid I loved the freedom writing gave.  It was the kind of freedom 5 year old will never have. Even if I wrote about my brother and me making a band and eventually getting famous, it wasn't really about that. I got to share it, share an unrealistic dream (at that age), and put down my thoughts on paper. Nobody could say it was wrong or not good enough, because I knew in my heart, even at that age, that my writing could never be wrong. It was my voice.  It was the words I knew I’d never be able to say out loud. It was the emotions I took out on the paper instead of on something else.  Now obviously, I found that out later in life, but that doesn't mean I didn't know I had it in me at a young age.

Although being 5 years old and writing “books” of course, the content wasn't going to be very fulfilling. I kept diaries all throughout my life.  I still go through and read them to this day.  I find it interesting seeing the growth in what I had written year by year. I remember in second grade writing about how I was sad because my best friend was mad at me.  She was mad because after I gave her my webkinz password, I changed it because I regretted giving it to her.  Seeing myself grow as a writer from pointless elementary playground drama, to high school stress triggers and emotions, it makes me wonder what kind of writer I’ll be as an adult, living in adult experiences and writing adult work. I’d like to see though.

                I attempt to never write something that’s meaningless.  In every piece that’s come from my brain, it has had some underlying truth and emotion, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I don’t necessarily think that’s wrong though. I believe to make good writing, it has to have depth, content that people find interesting and relate able.  That’s what I try to do when I write. I don’t think exaggerating some of the details is all that wrong either. There is hardly a moment in anybody’s life that is worth recording word for word, exactly how it happened, with some exceptions.  All writers do is make that moment something others would find themselves wanting to indulge in the reality of the character. Which brings me to the main reason I would love to write a book, escaping reality.

                There is always a point in our lives where we wish we could escape our bodies and live in someone else’s life. Writing gives us that. A writer is able to put there whole selves into an alternate reality, where they can control the beginning, middle, and end.  In my opinion, that’s the ultimate reward. Nothing gives a person more confidence than having control of an outcome or situation.  Writing a book with 500-600 pages can give an author months to years to basically become whoever they want to be in this fantasy world they’re typing on their computer.  It totally sounds weird and pathetic, I know.  To me, I’ve never felt more joy than when I am sitting on the couch in my room making up stories and writing them down, forgetting about everything else.

                To wrap this up, I have never wanted anything more than to write books.  I've given up everything else that I described myself as.  I quit swimming, the one sport I was good at.  I stopped playing the viola, another thing I was talented at, but had no passion for. The one thing I have never stopped doing was writing, and I never plan too.  Sure, my grammar might not be up to par, or my vocabulary could be expanded, but none of that is important when I know I love doing it as much as I do.  I feel like some of the things I've written, but never showed anyone, could possibly have the heart and the right things people can relate too. One day I hope to write multiple books, books that will inspire. 
That is my goal.